Saturday, November 26, 2011

Emotions!



Seriously can't take this anymore!!

One of the things I seriously HATE about being a girl is that we have so many EMOTIONS!!! I am not going to deny that girls are fine one minute and thin prissy the next. And I honestly swear that I am in one of those moods for the past week. It is driving me crazy!!!!!!
Usually I feel like this all the time!!!!!!!!! but then i go to .... below
I am so happy one minute and then one person or something happen and then I'm sad. And then I read so much into it that I get upset. And then I get so over it that I just am mad. And then I realize how dumb I feel about getting mad and then I just feel bad. And then you apologize and so your happy and then it starts all over again. I am soooo over it right now... maybe my body is telling me something needs to happen??? Sorry this is my venting session right now.
And then this. Yes I feel like a 3 year old throwing a fit.


And then this...



And then it's just down right embarrassing...

Wednesday, November 23, 2011

Chantal and Matthew Stewart

The day has come and gone! You know what?? My brother Matthew Colt Stewart is married and sealed in the temple for all eternity with Chantal Vaiola Salazar!!!!!!!
I have already made a post about them being engaged but now they are married :) And I have my first sister in law. And you know what I LOVE HER!!!
Teli (what we call her) is beyond amazing her and Matthew get along so well and our families talk to each other on like a daily basis.
I traveled up to Salt Lake with my family (meaning parents and Emily and Spence) went to our hotel and awaited the big day!! I am a picture person and so when we got to the temple that morning I went and had fun taking pictures of the temple when at that moment I was having a person sealed into my family. To my brother. :)
I got to babysit all of the little ones and let me tell you they are darling, not that I want to have kids anytime soon though. Just- a little FYI there haha. I was watching baby Mason when I felt my dad come up to me hug me and say that I now have a new sister. There were tears in his eyes and a big smile on his face. Of course I couldn't wait to see the groom and the bride and we all went outside when they said they were ready and I started snapping photos. They looked BEAUTIFUL and they just GLOWED with happiness. I couldn't be more happy for them, they already started their forever family by getting married in the temple and they know it :) They know it will make everything eternal :) I love that :)


Now let me tell you something Chantal's family total party city. I don't think that I have ever been to a more fun reception in my life. :)
There culture is just so out there that they did dances Teli performed, Matt performed (which was beyond freaking hilarious), her performance group was there. There wasn't a dull moment :)
I even cried. I did. I will be honest. There first dance as a married couple playing "Only You Can Love Me This Way" by Keith Urban. They were both singing to each other. Just looking at each other like nothing in this entire world could ever get better than that. It was pure Magic. I can't explain it any other way.
This post is mostly though to say congrats to them. To their righteous choice to be married in the one place that they could be together forever and wanting that. To their love of one another no matter what annoying habits could come in the way. They love each other and the Lord and between that they will always be in the righteous sight of the Lord.
I am proud of you both and I love you both.
Congratulations :)

Tuesday, October 25, 2011

The Life of Jess and I

So sadness... I haven't wrote anything in a month!
A MONTH I mean come on now that is ridiculous if I do say so myself.
I was asking Jess what on earth I should write about, especially since I really don't feel like I have done anything! At all. I work, go to school, dance, choreography, sleep, institute, cleaning. And then I wake up do the whole thing over again every week.
But I realized I haven't talked about my life in a while!
Sooooooo
Jess and I live in this little apartment where we have a balcony and a living room that we never use.
We do miss having a bath.
Our bathroom is little.
So one of us has to either be in the shower or sitting or standing on the toilet for both of us to fit.... comfortably.
Having Jess only as my roommate is wonderful :)
When she leaves though and goes home I can't sleep :(
Its too quiet in this apartment.... and dark.
Our neighbors are super weird!
I completely know what I want to do for the rest of my life.
This gives me a happy sense :)
I think that I am going to go to SUU next year... maybe
Or a mission? ...maybe
Russia ILP? ...maybe
I love being a dance teacher.
I look for ideas all the time
I love THIS!!!!!!
ADDICTED I TELL YOU ADDICTED.
I think it's annoying that Jess wants me married so bad...
Marriage is for happy couples haha
I am happy not a couple :)
I'm fine with that. :)
I feel kinda alone though... just because EVERYONE and their mom is getting married.
Jess really doesn't want me to go on a mission.
But I have a year to figure it out... right????
I am beyond excited for my brother to get married.
Their invitations are freaking BEAUTIFUL!!!!
I can't wait to be home in less then a month!!!!!!!
I hate the movies but I am excited for Breaking Dawn to come out :)
Jess and I are seeing it in Vegas... with her boyfriend Matthew.
I think that is all that my mind is scattering up today
The END

Sunday, September 25, 2011

Them Blasted!

COLD SORES!!!!!!!!
I don't like them... nope not one bit! 
Last night I was working and just with the stress of being a college student and having jobs, I felt a tingling sensation in my lips.
I come home and guess what...
I HAVE TWO SORES ON MY LIPS ALREADY!!!!!


 
DO YOU SEE THIS!!!!!!!!!! WHY!
I have decided that I can no longer get stressed because do you see this!!!!!!!!!!!
<------------------------
my lips are huge and there are two of them! TWO come on now :(





Now please excuse these pictures they are disgusting and after my Sunday nap. I really don't care what I look like, because Jess only sees me.
I refuse to get stressed any longer :(
My poor lips :(

Friday, September 9, 2011

So Irritated

This is going to be my venting passage for now.
It's just one of those days ya know.
Where you find out that people are saying things.
Where you have people yelling at you.
When nothing goes right.
When you get yelled at for something that isn't even your fault.
When people look at you like they really have no idea who you are, even though they do.
When the only thing you want to do is eat Nutty Bars and Pizza. And just lay in bed.
When people think your a bad person.
When people think your rude for stating your opinion and for caring about someone.
When you get summoned for Jury Duty 400 miles away.
When you know that you can't act like a child anymore and people are mad about it.
When you have to make decisions that may leave people behind.
When you have to face the truth and maybe even face things alone.
Where people are mad at you for having to get a job so you can actually pay for bills, instead of having my parents pay for everything.
This is the kind of day I have been having.
I can't wait for it to end...

Wednesday, September 7, 2011

Sophomore Year! 4 more to go!

I thought that maybe since it has been a while since I have last posted that I need to post about what is going on. And honestly I feel like nothing has been going on!
But then again I can make a list of the things that have happened.
- Got two jobs. One at the Main Street Grill another at a studio! I will be a dance teacher :) :)
- Went to Lake Powell as Ambassadors.
- Moved in to my new apartment.
- Unpacked "most" of my stuff. Decorated had couches moved in.
- Got a bed :) best gift ever :)
- Started school with all 14 credits.
- Went to Dance Auditions. (made a goal to be in more than 3 dances this year)
- Achieved my goal :)
- Started the most amazing pointe class ever :)
And I have a list of the things that will happen!
- Going to start choreographing for Castle Country Stars Dance Studio.
- Elder Holland is coming to speak to the Young Single Adult Stake!!!!!!!!!!!! I AM SO EXCITED!!!!!!!!
- Light Bright will be here once again and I can't wait :)
- Matt and Chantal's wedding and open house :)
- Other friends of mine whose names will not be mentioned until the official announcement! Will be getting married :)
- My fall dance show :)
- And I guess in general just the exciting adventures that come my way through the next few months :)

I feel so grateful to be here in Price, UT. I really do. I miss my family a ton especially since I haven't seen my dad or my siblings since the family reunion. I have seen my mom within the last couple of months but I miss her too a lot! But I am grateful to be here on my own where I make my own choices and I have having to grow up by myself. No more running to my parents every time I fall. For now I have to pick myself back up and crawl, and then walk, and then run to my next destination. But I know that because I have the church in my life that this will be so much more easier for me to make decisions that will be beneficial for me.
I can not wait to see what the savior has in store for me next :)

Sunday, August 14, 2011

Looking forward to...

Well let me start off by saying how crazy things have been lately and what I mean by lately is this whole freshman year of college. So many things have changed and I feel that I have really grown as a person.
I can definitely say that I am not the same person that left Las Vegas a year ago almost to date. I have learned to live without some of the things that I have been so used to in my life. I have grown as a person and I have also grown in the gospel. Being here I have really realized that at any time I really could have dropped out and not gone to church. No one was forcing me to go. No one would yell at me to tell me to get out of bed to be there at 9:00, but I have wanted to be here and be part of the gospel. I think for me this realization came and made me so grateful to know the gospel to know the church and to know that that is where I belong.

Now back to the original reason I was writing this. I have just had so many things to look forward to. And I think this might be better as a list.
-  Going to Lake Powell this weekend: As ambassadors we are taking a retreat to the lake and we get to have all of our teaching stuff there. Yes I am excited :) :)
- Moving in to my apartment. Yes an apartment not a dorm. I am so excited. :) It is a way cute small place one bedroom with bathroom, living room, and kitchen. And my serious favorite part :) We have a balcony :) I can only imagine how wonderful it will be :)
- Having school start. I am beyond ready for school to start. I can't wait for my classes and everything else I am beyond excited.
- For my dance job to start. I haven't officially announced this at all yet, but I got another job as a dance teacher :) It isn't a full time job honestly but it is a step towards what I want to do for the future. I get to choreograph competition girls from the ages of 5 to 16. I think this is really important and I can't wait to start choreographing.
- To cook. I know this may sound beyond weird, but I have not cooked in what feels like YEARS! And I know I could cook here and stuff but I would just feel so much better and more comfortable cooking in my own kitchen and cooking with food that I bought. Does that make any sense?
- I can't wait for dance to start. I have missed working out and loosing weight. I lost more weight in college than anything else. Its not that I want to dance to loose weight, but I honestly just miss dancing. I don't know if anyone could ever understand unless they were or are a dancer.
- Jessica to be my roommate. I can not wait for her to be my roommate again. I miss seeing her all the time and our late night talks where we just talk about everything and anything. Whenever we see each other we freak out and just laugh and smile. She's my best friend and I miss her.
-My brother's wedding. I can not wait :) I love Chantal and I can't wait for the day that she can join our family. Even though maybe she can ;)


Wednesday, July 27, 2011

Wow

Okay well it has been a while. For me at least. And I apologize not that this is anything more then just a venting journal sometimes.
But!!!!!!!!!! I DO HAVE AN UPDATE :)
My brother who has been dating the most wonderful person in the whole wide world is now engaged. :) And I couldn't be happier from them. I remember when Matt had gotten home off his mission and when I saw him for Thanksgiving he was talking to this mysterious girl. And I honestly didn't know how to feel about this. I know that when young men get off their missions that they are supposed to go look for Mrs. Eternal Companion. For me I just never really saw my brother as one who would go out on a search, and technically he didn't go out on a search for a wife. He dated a little and when I say little I mean very little and then he met Chantal.

I will admit that I was skeptical, and I think it was because I really didn't know her or really know much about her. I also would tell my mom over and over again that I really wanted to be best friends with Matt's future spouse. I wanted us when Matt and I were both married that he could go off and have fun with my husband while his wife and I would go do something fun, and because I didn't know Chantal I was worried.

Eventually I did start to warm up with Chantal and this was before I had met her, but the reason was because I saw my brother and I saw how happy he was. It wasn't just the goofy goofy ridiculous smile that he does all the time but it was the way he would sound when he would talk to her on the phone and all the pictures that he had of her and him together. (this was around Christmas Time.) So I became open to this relationship at this time when I saw how happy she really made him.



It wasn't until January that I had really met her and I would like to say that I was the first out of everyone in our family to officially meet her. I remember pretty much just talking to her the whole time, her and Jess, and we had exchanged numbers. We texted and talked to each other pretty much everyday after that! And we still talk all the time.
I realized when I met her how much they were good together. She wouldn't just do whatever he said and in his past girlfriends they were all very touchy and clingy to him, where she wasn't at all if anything it was the opposite. I remember actually them making a bet that he couldn't stand not kissing her for 10 minutes... he failed. :)

There relationship was very different then any other relationship that I have witnessed, because not only was she getting to know our family and him getting to know her family but it was both of our families meeting each other. Their family had came to Vegas so that way Chantal and Matt could be together and then the families would meet each other. I unfortunately wasn't able to go for this little shindig but I heard all about it. After that meeting they had we knew what was going to happen. We knew that Matt and Chantal loved each other and that they both felt that they should be together. They worked together and made sacrifices to be together through the long distance.

And it was the fact that both of our families were so willing and self sacrificing for these two to be together that it worked out. And with their relationship both of our families became best friends. Moana and my mother talked all the time along with Jerry and my dad. Our families just clicked and we all realized how wonderful and special they are. Her family including her is one of the most amazing families I have ever met, and I am so grateful that she will be part of her family so that way we can be apart of hers.
Even the rest of our family with our cousins, aunts, uncles, grandparents, and little babies loved her. That's when I started to tell Matt that he needed to get a move on it and propose! A few weeks later I got a text with a picture of the ring that he had just bought for Chantal.

Of course it took a little while for him to actually ask her. But it was when I had called Matt letting him know when I would be in town on Thursday so that way they could take me to the airport for my cousins wedding that he told me that that was the night. The night he was going to propose to Chantal. And about 2 hours later I get a call from my dad saying that there was bad news, and it was that we were getting a daughter in law, for me a sister in law :)

I was beyond estatic :) Finally my brother was going to marry the woman of his dreams, and the woman that I know I would be able to call whenever and just talk to her, spend time with her, and when I was upset I knew she would be there for me. She is going to be another sister of mine and I can't wait for that day :)
Congrats Matthew and Chantal :) You guys really are the perfect couple and I am grateful that I get to be apart of your lives.


Wednesday, July 13, 2011

Ten, TEN, ten. tEn.

Ten things I'm afraid of:               Ten random songs on my ipod right now:
1. Spiders                                                          1. If I Die Young - The Band Perry
2. Thunder                                                       2. Jar of Hearts - Christina Perri
3. Scary Movies                                               3. Set Fire to Rain - Adele
4. The Dark                                                      4. Bad Body Double - Imogen Heap
5. Drowning                                                      5. We Intertwine - The Hush Sound
6. Being Paralyzed                                           6. Your Man - Josh Turner
7. Car Accidents                                               7. Nice Guys Finish Last - Cobra Starship
8. Marriage                                                       8. Droplets - Colbie Caillat
9. Failing                                                           9. Mean - Taylor Swift
10. Surger                                                       10. Future Sex Love Sounds -Justin Timberlake

Ten of my pet peeves:                                    Ten rules I've broken:
1. Mumbling                                                              1. Traffic Laws
2. The feeling of Cotton Balls                                  2. Eating on Fast Sundays
3. Sickled toes during dance                                   3. Ditching School
4. When people don't speak properly                    4. Lying
5. People being so serious                                        5. Cheating
6. Repeated sayings over and over                        6. Curfew?
7. Abbreviations in texting                                      7. I
8. Grinding teeth                                                      8. Have
9. Rude People                                                          9. No
10. Long nails on guys                                             10. Idea
  

Tuesday, July 12, 2011

Having a bad day?

Okay so I admit today... was just a bad day. Things didn't go the way I wanted them to and I just felt sicker and sicker as they day went on. I don't want to go on with the details of my life and give you every single moment of my bad day, for one why dwell on it when there is nothing else I can really do to fix it and for two, why should I dwell on the unhappiness? The unhappiness of my day is not what I am posting about. In fact it is quite the opposite, I am posting about the things in my life even what happened today that make me happy and make me feel so much more grateful about my life. And for a lot of reasons. I have a loving family, I am a faithful member of the church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints and I know that Heavenly Father and His Son love me, I have a wonderful boyfriend who is loving and treats me like royalty, I have wonderful friends that are always there for me, I am able to go to a great college and learn and do what I want to do, I am able to dance whenever I want to.
What is sad is that I don't remember these things all the time, I only remember them half of the time. So what made me think of everything that I have to be grateful for on a bad day where all I honestly want to do is give myself a pity party?
I have been following this blog just looking at pictures and she posted this. Its called the Five Important Lessons of Life. And this I think is worth sharing for all of you to read.
1 – First Important Lesson – Cleaning Lady.  
 During my second month of college, our professor
gave us a pop quiz. I was a conscientious student
and had breezed through the questions until I read
the last one:
‘What is the first name of the woman who cleans the school?’
Surely this was some kind of joke. I had seen the
cleaning woman several times. She was tall,
dark-haired and in her 50′s, but how would I know her name?
I handed in my paper, leaving the last question
blank. Just before class ended, one student asked if
the last question would count toward our quiz grade.
‘Absolutely, ‘ said the professor. ‘In your careers,
you will meet many people.  All are significant They
deserve your attention and care, even if all you do
is smile and say ‘hello.’
I’ve never forgotten that lesson. I also learned her
name was Dorothy. 
 
  2. – Second Important Lesson – Pickup in the Rain
One night, at 11:30 p.m., an older African American
woman was standing on the side of an Alabama highway
trying to endure a lashing rain storm. Her car had
broken down and she desperately needed a ride.
Soaking wet, she decided to flag down the next car.
A young white man stopped to help her, generally
unheard of in those conflict-filled 1960′s. The man
took her to safety, helped her get assistance and
put her into a taxicab.
She seemed to be in a big hurry, but wrote down his
address and thanked him. Seven days went by and a
knock came on the man’s door. To his surprise, a
giant console color TV was delivered to his home. A
special note was attached.
It read:
‘Thank you so much for assisting me on the highway
the other night. The rain drenched not only my
clothes, but also my spirits.  Then you came along.
Because of you, I was able to make it to my dying
husband’s bedside just before he passed away… God
bless you for helping me and unselfishly serving
others.’
Sincerely,
Mrs Nat King Cole.

 3. Third Important Lesson - Always Remember Those Who Serve

In the days when an ice cream sundae cost much less,
a 10-year-old boy entered a hotel coffee shop and
sat at a table. A waitress put a glass of water in
front of him.
‘How much is an ice cream sundae?’ he asked.
‘Fifty cents,’ replied the waitress.
The little boy pulled his hand out of his pocket and
studied the coins in it.
‘Well, how much is a plain dish of ice cream?’ he inquired.
By now more people were waiting for a table and the
waitress was growing impatient.
‘Thirty-five cents,’ she brusquely replied.
The little boy again counted his coins.
‘I’ll have the plain ice cream,’ he said.
The waitress brought the ice cream, put the bill on
the table and walked away The boy finished the ice
cream, paid the cashier and left.  When the waitress
came back, she began to cry as she wiped down the
table.  There, placed neatly beside the empty dish,
were two nickels and five pennies..
You see,  he couldn’t  have the sundae, because he had
to have enough left to leave her a tip.

4 – Fourth Important Lesson. – The obstacle in Our Path. 
 

In ancient times, a King had a boulder placed on a
roadway.  Then he hid himself and watched to see if
anyone would remove the huge rock.  Some of the
king’s wealthiest merchants and courtiers came by
and simply walked around it.  Many loudly blamed the
King for not keeping the roads clear, but none did
anything about getting the stone out of the way.
Then a peasant came along carrying a load of
vegetables.  Upon approaching the boulder, the
peasant laid down his burden and tried to move the
stone to the side of the road.  After much pushing
and straining, he finally succeeded. After the
peasant picked up his load of vegetables, he noticed
a purse lying in the road where the boulder ha d
been. The purse contained many gold coins and a note
from the King indicating that the gold was for the
person who removed the boulder from the roadway.  The
peasant learned what many of us never understand!
Every obstacle presents an opportunity to improve
our condition.
5 – Fifth Important Lesson – Giving When it Counts…
Many years ago, when I worked as a volunteer at a
hospital, I got to know a little girl named Liz who
was suffering from a rare & serious disease.  Her only
chance of recovery appeared to be a blood
transfusion from her 5-year old brother, who had
miraculously survived the same disease and had
developed the antibodies needed to combat the
illness.  The doctor explained the situation to her
little brother, and asked the little boy if he would
be willing to give his blood to his sister.
I saw him hesitate for only a moment before taking a
deep breath and saying, ‘Yes I’ll do it if it will save
 her.’  As the transfusion progressed, he lay in bed
 next to his sister and smiled, as we all did, seeing
 the color returning to her cheek. Then his face
 grew pale and his smile faded.
He looked up at the doctor and asked with a
trembling voice, ‘Will I start to die right away’.
Being young, the little boy had misunderstood the
doctor; he thought he was going to have to give his
sister all of his blood in order to save her.

Friday, June 24, 2011

Missing?

So I have been away from for a really long time now. Or at least it feels that way. Officially I have been moved out and away from home for 10 months. And as much as I love being away from home and being all "grown up" making my own decisions and choices, but I do miss home sometimes. I miss at night the sounds of sirens and other noises. Yes I know that may be weird but I miss it I really do. I miss having all or at least most of the stores be open 24/7. I miss my dogs and how much they make me laugh. I miss my parents and how I would just talk to my mom all the time because she is my best friend, and I can tell her anything. I miss my dad and how he would yell my name across the house just so I can come see him because he wants me to give him a hug. I miss my sister and walking into her room seeing how her nose is in a book. Jumping on her and tackling her, making her laugh and smile. I miss my little or not so little brother and how he would always say something about break dancing naked. Or how we would listen to some hip hop music on our way to early morning seminary. We would have our own little dance routines. I miss my older brother and how I always knew that he was either working/ playing some game/ facebooking/ or going out with sushi with his friends. 
I miss the road I would go on almost every single day to go see my best friends. Sitting at the light on Sahara and Torry Pines for what felt like forever. I miss driving all the way to Summerlin to go be a nanny to the cutest kids ever. I miss playing guns with Max and playing make believe with Ella and Kate. I miss how much Jackson would make me laugh at the things he would say and how he was such a talker. I miss putting them to bed at night where we would sometimes read stories and how they all had to look at the pictures. I miss their prayers at night. I miss tucking max into bed and how I would just rock him in my arms and sing I Am A Child of God to him and he would just cuddle me. I miss how I would put him in his bed and he had to have exactly 3 blankets on him and how he had to have 3 stories read to him.
I love being on my own don't get me wrong. But sometimes I just look back at my life back home and I realize how much I miss the little things, even the things that sometimes I would dread doing. 
I love my life now and I always will love my life but I never realized how much I would have to do on my own and how much things are my responsibility. How much things may hurt. And how much happiness there would be especially when I'm around those I love. 
Just sometimes I miss home and how my life used to be when I didn't have so many worries.

Tuesday, May 31, 2011

Isn't it AMAZING??

The gospel. I mean how amazing is it??? I feel so grateful everyday to have known about the gospel since the time I was born. The way my parents raised me and just the fullness of knowing what happened to us before we born, what is happening now, what we have to do to return to our Father in Heaven, and then what will happen after. I mean how lucky are we to be born and blessed with this knowledge, while some look for it and because this church is just so good to be true they walk pass.
Today I have just had a lot of talks with my friends who aren't members and maybe they are happy the way they are, but they don't understand how happy they could be. I think that my reading church books is really getting to me. But I started reading in my all time favorite book "My Not So Fairy Tale Life" and my favorite quote always pops out to me and I felt like I should share it.
"My life would have moments of anguish in the future. There would be trials, pain, frustration, and failure, but I wouldn't be alone. My Heavenly Father and His Son, my Savior would be there for me.
I wondered what it would be like to meet Him. If I looked Him in the eyes, would I see every bruise, scratch, and crack in my own heart? I felt certain I would. April had taught me that when He suffered, it wasn't just for our sins. It was for every part of agony that enters the human soul. For all the times we suffer from lost love or lack of love, for all the times we came in second or didn't place at all. He suffered it all that we might not have to go through anything alone.
I felt an overwhelming sense of gratitude to know that when I do meet Him, He will really understand me. And instead of crying out the words "You don't know what I went through!" I will fall to the floor, kiss His feet, and through my tears say, "Thanks for being there.""
I feel so sure about this and I feel like I can't explain this any better than that. I know that through all I went through he was carrying me, holding me, saying encouraging words in my ear. Telling me that I am strong, that He loves me no matter how many mistakes I make. That I am beautiful and am a daughter of God and I deserve to be treated like one. No matter how many struggles and temptations that Satan may empower over me I know that when I can get on my knees and open all my heart to Him and not hold anything back that he will answer me and he will help me. I have such a testimony in prayer and the reading of my scriptures that I feel that if someone asked me do I know Christ. I feel like I could hold my head up high and say, "Yes, I do. And he loves me very much."

I know that I am just babbling about things of the gospel today, but I feel that I should even talk more on it... it is such a huge part of me that I need to really talk about it every time I can.
I found this video today and I love it :)
This portrays Christ in such a way that I love :)
Enjoy

Monday, May 30, 2011

You know you're bored when...

You start taking surveys.... so here we go...

Hmmmm probably my legs. I like to shave my legs first so yeah.


Its a coral pinkish color. It is so soft and comfortable. I just got it :)


Ughhh... awkward. Possibly, yeahhh


Sometimes yeah I do. The night before I usually think of what I am going to where so I don't have to wake up so early.


I am feeling really tired... and kinda irritated. Long day at work full of headaches


My bed sheet. I am laying on it.


Ummm neither...


I actually think it was about a serial killer... I can't remember though... it was kinda weird. That is what I get for watching Criminal Minds before bed.


Yes I did. :) I meet someone knew almost everyday now :)


Raising Canes... I miss it


Yeah I do... probably not often enough though.


I dunno... some vegetable which it is.


I have never had an aim so never.

HAHAHA no. Not really. Maybe internally but I don't let things show very easily.


I would dance to any song ;)


yeah I have.

Biting gives me the chills. So I just lick it.


Ehhh sometimes. For the most part yeah.


I love myself. In a non cocky way.


I have met singers... a celebrity... a don't think so...


Ewww no.


The dogs bark.


Just the United States and Canada.


I think they are strict in a loving way. They don't let me do stuff that would harm me or my beliefs. But I would never want to do that anyways, so they aren't really strict.


Oh heck NO! I love myself remember?


Yeah sure why not?


Well that would be rude so no.


Yeah the crown I won for being Miss Eastern



Yeah from Red Box.


I don't have math right now or any class so no one.


when I was in middle school yeah.


Sure why not?


Probably no one... who knows though.


How about chicken eggs from the backyard?


Ummmm I think so but who knows, I have a lot of clothes.


No, eventually I will though.


Yeah I have.


Yes I do.


Hahahha totally depends.

HECK YES. I love my burt :)

Jessica will be going to Anatomy, and studying. Jenni will be saying goodbye to Dallin and Lorielle.


haha I can but probably not the proper way.


Yes sir/ma'am


I have not.


Ummm why on earth is the BDAC closed possibly?


Ummm oh goodness... I have no idea...


I don't like either. I like men haha ;)


There is no such thing as a bus here at USU Eastern


DEAD Straight


Ummm don't really wanna talk about it thanks :)


HAHAHAHHA OH YES :)


Not too much. It depends.


Ummm yeah most likely.


haha totally have.


Fall :) I LOVE FALL :)


Used to be Brown... starting to become a dark gray and light pink :)


It depends on the situation but yeah sometimes.


Eww no.


HAHAHA well... if you really must know... Probably Cortland


Nope I do not.

63. Where was your facebook default picture taken at?
On stage for the Spring Images dance concert :)


I dunno probably not...


I do :) It's a pretty great life.


Depends. At least everyday it seems like now.


Pink Flamingo :) :) :) :)


Gas for my car.


Perfect :)


Yup sure can


I can forgive. Yes. Will I ever get with them probably not.


Yeah I do.


Yes I can :)


PJ bottoms and a USU Eastern shirt.


hahahaha yes I have :)

Sunday, May 29, 2011

Today...

I thought I was going to die. No really I did. So let me back up a bit and let me fill you on in what is going on. I am still in Price, UT and I am living on a farm... okay so a little less than a farm. It still is a farm though, or at least I consider it a farm, there is chickens and roosters, a horse, 3 dogs, a cat, and geese. Yes geese.
Most people are terrified of geese and I am one of these. They don't like anyone near them and they hiss at you. I haven't been attacked yet... but the rooster charged at my leg 2 days ago and today. I don't think he likes me very much.
Anyways back to my story. Terry and Cherilynn's geese are actually pretty nice... as they say. I think they are mean, but that's just me. They don't attack people all the time but again they don't like you to get near them because they hiss at you all the time.
Well today, I woke up and got ready to go to church, I was even early. And I look around and I can't find my keys anywhere. I still haven't found my keys, but I needed a break from looking. So while I'm looking I take the dogs out and I realize that I have to go feed the chickens. Which is where the rooster charged at me. So far I only like the Horse since I don't have to do anything to feed him, he takes care of himself unlike all the other animals. Anyways I am coming back from feeding the chickens and I realize that one of the mother geese, she just had two little goslings and so she is super over protective and just mean. She starts hissing at me and I had no idea why until I crossed the other gate and I realized that her little one is stuck in the area that he or she is not supposed to be in. Which is not good because Foxes like to come and snatch them up all the time. Anyways so she's freaking out and I have no idea what to do. I figure hey if the little gosling got over here he can get back. So I come back inside and continue to look for my keys and the dogs start barking so I try to bring them back out... again. So I let the two guys out and I look to my left and not only is the little gosling still there but its brother or sister was there and its mom and its dad. I freaked because I didn't want the geese to kill the dogs so I bring them inside and call Terry of what I should do, because the dogs are not happy. And you know what he tells me, he tells me to open up the gate and then to HERD the geese back in. Yes you heard me he said to herd them. Can you even herd geese? So I asked how on earth am I supposed to do that without dying and of course he laughed and just said to spread my arms wide and walk toward them.
Sounds easy right? Yeah right. So I go and put on my shoes and walk outside. Geese scare me okay, really bad. And I do what he says and open the gate... they hiss at me. And then I get behind them... haha not right behind them but ya know behind them a couple feet and I put my arms out wide and just take one step toward them... well they didn't like that. They started hissing both of the parents and they both spread their wings wide. Yeah well they have large wings. But gradually they started backing up... but in the wrong way not in the direction of the gate. So I have to move in another direction which put nothing in between us. And I do it again. Again they did not like this but they then begin to retreat back into the gate. At any moment though I was ready to just pick up and run back into the house and let the dogs just live out their bladder. I was ready for the geese to see the fear and hear my heart beat and decide to attack me.
And yes this is a real story and maybe I wasn't gonna die but I'm pretty sure if they wanted to they could kill me.
Moral of this story is... I never want to live on a farm or have animals when I am married. Especially Geese and roosters.

THEY ARE FREAKING SCARY OKAY!

Wednesday, May 4, 2011

Empty rooms...


Today was my official last day of my first year of college. And it was an awesome, trying, ridiculous, hard, happy, incredible school year. I had learned so much through just going to class, but I'm sorry to say I think I learned a whole lot more about who I am, who I am going to be, what I love about myself, what I need to work on. I learned a lot about me :) And I think that this was necessary. I needed this. My senior of high school was a hard one. I just needed to escape and really be myself and this was it. I really had the time of my life and I challenged myself in ways I never would have thought of.
So as I am sitting here in my room filled with naked white walls staring at the wall across from my bed where there used to be tons of colors (mostly purple) and there used to be my roommate. For those of you who know me I don't cry, I used to cry a lot and I just don't cry very much or at all anymore. It just happened. Hahaha so today when Jess's stuff was all packed up in her car and she came back from her last exam and went to say goodbye to all of us roommates. I cried. That's right I cried, like a little baby. I have decided that I'm okay at goodbye's when I am friends with them, but when I have connected with a person and shared all of my inner thoughts and feelings with that person it hurts me to loose them. The same things happened with Jenni. I miss them both and I wont have either of them this summer. It makes me sad.

But just sitting here again in the naked room my mind fills with all these thoughts... this isn't ever going to be the same. I'm not going to have the same roommates, it isn't ever going to be my freshman year of college. I wont ever be back in to my teens after this year. I'll be 20... yuck. I'll be one of
the older ambassadors. I'll be the one with a job and I will know how to do my schedule properly and manage my time. I'll know how things work here at the school... it won't ever be the same and this makes me sad. :(
So much for a fantastic year filled with fantastic memories and fantastic people. I will miss it all. Thank you those who made my year one of the
best :)
These pictures are just some of the highlights of my year :)










Sunday, May 1, 2011

Bucket List :)

So my friend Sterling had created a blog and it had his bucket list. I love the idea of bucket lists really I do. I think that if I had decided to do a bucket list it would keep my mind going on and on of what things I could do in my life. And most importantly it would be a good way to put the things that I want most in life :)

1. Married to my best friend in the Temple, sealed for all eternity :)
2. Have kids.
3. Keep on dancing for the rest of my life.
4. Get a masters in Dance Choreography
5. Work at a University
6. Build my own house... not with my own hands though haha
7. Go to a Brad Paisley concert and a Tim McGraw Concert
8. See Joshua Radin live.
9. Change my diet to live a healthier life.
10. Laugh so hard, I pee my pants.
11. Learn how to sew a dress and clothes.
12. Make a large quilt for my future home.
13. Live in the Gospel my entire life.
14. Serve a mission.
15. Learn Spanish, Italian, Norwegian, and Russian
16. Have my own Choreography Studio.
17. Make one of my weakness's my strength.
18. Read the Book of Mormon in all the languages in #15.
19. Be able to play anything on the Piano.
20. Learn the Guitar.
21. Become an intern in something that I desire.
22. Have all my children Baptized into the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints.
23. Go to the Temple to watch my little brother and sister get married.
24. Live in the East Coast.
25. Go on a cruise.
26. Go to every State in the U.S.
27. Get rid of my exzema for good.
28. Affect someones life for the better.
29. Go on a humanitarian aid in South America.
30. "Become Perfect in Christ."
31. Learn to like food that I don't like.
32. Live in a foreign country.
33. Travel to all of the continents.
34. Live in Italy.
35. Fly first class.
36. Read the Book of Mormon at least 100 times before I die.
37. Look in the mirror and know that I am beautiful.
38. Go scuba diving in Hawaii and in the Caribbean.
39. Learn to love running.
40. Write a book.
41. Go to Womens Conference in Provo.
42. Go back to the Church History Tour sites again.
43. Perform dance in 3 different countries.
44. Thank the Lord for the trials he has given me, that make me stronger.
45. Read my scriptures every day.
46. Pray everyday.
47. Be a stay at home mom.
48. Swim with dolphins.
49. Go to the temple in 5 different countries.
50. Go to a temple dedication.
51. Win something unexpected.
52. Pay a full tithe every year.
53. Live a temple worthy life forever.
54. Read the Old and New Testament.
55. Love my faults.
56. Be financially stable.
57. Love everyone. Even my enemies.
58. Learn sign language
59.

Sunday, April 3, 2011

ehhhhhh

So I feel like I have been slacking a ton on blogging. So apologies there. But right now I just have things on my mind that I think I should just put everything down and try and compose it all. So I think that I am just going to just number them down.
1. I feel that conference today has been amazing. Lately I have had a lot of feelings about pursuing what I want with dancing for the rest of my life and traveling. So I have been thinking of just putting off finding anyone that I want to spend the rest of forever with and putting off having kids. With all the thought of today and how we should get married and have kids have really put things in perspective for me. I have realized what is most important, but just because I have realized that I should get married and things doesn't mean that I am just going to jump into the pool of marriage. Not ready for that. Overall though, with conference it made me happy :) I can never get over this of how much I love General Conference. Every single time :)
2. Boys. Now this is one of main things that is in the back of the mind of almost every single girl, especially any single LDS girl here. I never realized before I got into college how different dating would be. Because now... whoever I date it actually matters. No high school fling. It all matters because now, whoever you date you could actually marry. So no pressure or anything to make a wrong decision and fall in love with someone you know you could never end up with. Or if you did end up falling in love with someone could you ever have the courage to break it off? These things swarm my head all the time and maybe it wouldn't be such an issue if I lived in Provo or somewhere else in Utah honestly. I live in the least populated town of LDS people in Utah. Crazy right? Sometimes I think it would be so much easier to live there or another BYU. And not only this but you have to consider whether or not you want to actually date an RM or if you want to date a Premi (Premissionary) because either way you have to prepare yourself. Either to possibly be engaged and fall in love or to possibly fall in love with a person who is going to be gone for 2 years and then you have to depend whether or not you are actually going to wait. And with the whole waiting process who says that they will wait too? The whole process is difficult and extremely frustrating.
3. Dance Ensemble and Ambassadors. I am stressed honestly stressed. Do you want to know why? I have never had a busier couple of weeks. This week I have Ambassador training, Dance Ensemble rehearsals from 5:30-12:00 every single night, and then I have the show. Not to mention that the pieces I am in... yeah well they aren't finished yet. Scares me. ya know?

Wednesday, March 23, 2011

Things

I literally have so much going on in my brain right now that I think I just need to somewhat relinquish it.
- Dance to me is a stress and then a relief. I go to the studio and stay there for hours when things go bad.
- My toes up all the time. All I have to do is just squish them and they all crack.
- I love it when someone stretches my feet out. LOVE IT :)
- I think I may have a serious problem with shopping. Is there really shopping anonymous? I may have to go.
- I wish my roommate Jess and I were the same size. We would have a never ending closet of options :)
- I am so grateful in my life. I have been so blessed.
- I hate hate hate hate HATE being late. I'm dead serious I am never late so when I am actually late I get upset.
- I am in love with someone... his name is Joshua Radin. :) I love him. I do :) I don't care that he is like 20 years older than me ahhahahaha
- I wish that we could have dogs in our dorm. I love dogs :)
- I wish I were tanner.
- I love guy names for girls. :) I just read this book where the girl's name was James. I LOVE IT :)
- Sometimes I really don't think that people think before they talk. It's embarrassing.
- I don't think that people should post everything on facebook even if they are joking. It can be offensive and I think that it shouldn't be out there.
- I would never want to be part of a sorority.
- I don't know where I want to transfer anymore... It makes it kind of stressful for me.
- I need a job. Bad.
- I really hate it when girls suck in the dramatic life. It's annoying.
- I'm glad I have Jessica in my life.
- Dating scares me sometimes... I like to go on dates though... is there a way to have it all???? haha
- I'm so grateful for my family. They are the greatest they really are :)
- I don't like the cold...
- I just want to lay out on the beach in the sun with no worries.
- I'm glad that I have so many books :) Its my other world of escapes :)

Friday, March 18, 2011

Job

I need job. Bad. Things are expensive and honestly I have the worst luck and things happen to me. For example last night went to Provo to visit my cousin and I parked my car for honestly 10 minutes. I come out and guess what they put a thing on my tire. And you know what they fined me 65 freaking dollars. I was livid.
I am okay with my expenses. I shop for food and pay for gas usually most of the time and that's honestly about it. So when things happen where I have to pay for stitches in my finger or I have to pay for this thing on my tire I freak out. Because my bank account just drains and I then again am just a poor poor college student who desperately needs a job. Even if it was just little little money. I still need it bad.
So now I sit here and I think of everything I need to do and I panic and think how the freak am I gonna do it all when I'm gonna starve??? haha no I'm really okay I'm not gonna starve but still I need a job.

Friday, March 11, 2011

Survey Fun :)


{one} do you wear holey jeans? if so, do you buy them that way?
So I have bought holey jeans and I don't think that I have any right now. Wait I have shorts that are holey :) Haha but it all depends on the deal really I buy them wherever :)

{two} do you get a full 8 hours of sleep per night?
Heck yes :) I totally do! I love sleep and I try to get enough sleep every night and I usually do. :) I love sleep :)

{three} what’s your favorite way to eat an oreo?
ummm ewww I hate oreos so I don't eat them.

{four} do you wear shoes in your house?
I'm more of a barefoot kind of girl. I would go barefoot or flip flops all year round if I could :) but if it's winter and I'm cold I wear my slippers :) These are mine :) LOVE THEM!

{five} who would you call first if you won the lottery?
I would never enter a lottery honestly. I think it's beyond dumb really. If I were to win a lottery though I would call my parents of course.

{six} have you ever been in a food fight?
Where lots of food is thrown? No haha where my roommate and I make cookies and had a flour fight oh heck yes :)

{seven} do you snore?
Lol sadly I do :( I also sleep talk and I guess I scream too says my dad. I'm just a ball of sunshine huh :)

{eight} do you know how fast you type?
I think it was like 85 words or something like that.

{nine} can you do a headstand (without using a wall)?
I can actually I have been practicing :) I can do cool things with it to... this is different from a hand stand though I can't do a hand stand though sadness :(

{ten} how do you like your popcorn?
Movie theater popcorn :) Or I either make my own kettle corn :) Or I just buy kettle corn :)

Saturday, March 5, 2011

22 and 23 :)

really need to finish this dang thing and I'm almost done so I'm just trying to finish so ready :)
22. Something that makes me different from everyone else...
Hmmmmm.... this one is kinda hard for me to think of just because you know I usually will have something about me in common with someone or another. So it's not that I am exactly different from everyone else. A few things that I think do separate me from everyone else is that I am LDS... here in Utah it's kinda different because a lot of people are LDS. Back home though it was different, I was different because being LDS is more then just a religion. It's a complete lifestyle for me. Being LDS defines me for who I am. Another thing that I think makes me different from everyone else is just my creativeness. I can't draw or paint or write wonderful stories even though I do like to write sometimes. I think the dances that go on inside my mind and the emotion that I have while I dance and while I'm on stage is my art. Taking last Wednesday for an example, during one of my pieces that I am in which is the hardest piece I have ever been in for a couple reasons the emotional commitment that I have to have for this piece and the movements as it is on pointe. Anyways during this piece our teacher Mel was watching us and I just wanted this so bad and she could see it... she started crying... I started crying. The emotion that I have is who I am and dance is another huge part of my life. I love it.

Okay okay #23
Favorite TV Shows
1. Glee
2. How I Met Your Mother
3. House
4. Criminal Minds
It's late I can't really think anymore hahaha but this is it. I don't really watch a ton of TV so this is what it is.

Wednesday, March 2, 2011

Friends


So I have to say that I do have some of the greatest friends here in college. And right now I have to explain two of them. I swear we are the three musketeers we do everything together and it is never ever ever ever boring around them. Like for example right now they are running around the chair I'm sitting in playing tag. Not only that but they are just circling my chair. Weirdos aren't they? Yes, yes they are. James will always talk in Russian, and make up random raps that have to do with stealing babies. Yes that does sound creepy but honestly it's not too bad and it was way freaking funny. James also makes about 4 marriage proposals today... you may think that I'm joking but I just asked Jess and she agreed he really makes about 4 marriage proposals to me a day. I think maybe one day I just might say yes and really freak him out hahahhaha. That would be the greatest and funniest thing ever. James also gets a little grossed out and feels completely uncomfortable with anything dealing with sex and female reproductive systems. Hahaha I laugh at this just thinking about it. For example I will say that maybe I'm on my period or I'm having cramps and then that will start mine and Jess's conversation on periods or as we also call it TOM. Not explaining that for those that don't know. James also gets just as distracted as I do. I think we both have ADD. He can't just sit and do homework he gets beyond distracted. Like right now he was supposed to write a paper that I'm helping him with and first he played tag... and now he left to go get something from his room and really for no reason. Okay now on to Jess.

Jess is my best friend here. I tell her practically and basically everything. And if I don't she tackles me while I'm in bed and she is in her underwear. Let me tell you that was one of the most awkward situations of my entire life!!!!!!!! What do you do when that situation comes up??? Panic and put a Book of Mormon in front of my face that's what I did! Jess is always there for me and I love her to death. I like it how at night when we are reading our scriptures if I have a question or she does I'm not afraid to ask. Even if it is a dumb question and I'm just not understanding she doesn't ridicule me and make fun she answers it. We laugh all the time together and sometimes its just over ridiculous things hahahha like stupid ridiculous things. Most of the time I think we laugh at James though. Sorry I'm referring so many things to what is happening now but they are over and so that's whats going on. But James is rocking out to some music that he is listening to on his computer with his headphones in and then my music was playing Jack Johnson where me and Jess can hear it. James looked completely ridiculous rocking out to Jack Johnson Better Together. Come on now James get with it. Jess is also there for me just when it's stupid boys, serious issues concerning illness or death, or whether it's just me being in a bad mood. Last week I was sick and Jess wasn't afraid to get near me and she came and helped as much as she could. Maybe she didn't realize this but I did. I don't think Jess realizes how much she really does for me and how much she has influenced me and how much she really means to me. I think I really wouldn't have enjoyed college as much as I have if Jess wasn't here. She may not be my exact twin with creativeness and understanding stories within dances like I can, but we are alike in the way we act and if I didn't have her here I probably would be heading off to some other school.

Overall I am grateful for friends. My friends back home. My family friends. My dance friends. New friends. Old friends. But those two are the ones I hang out with the most. I'm not afraid to ask them anything and I know that if I needed anything that would be there for me in a second. There was a time not too long ago that one of our roommates was sick. We don't know exactly what happened but she passed out and she couldn't move from the floor. I was up way too late... much like tonight and when I was coming out to brush my teeth I saw her just on the floor laying there talking. She was talking to her parents about how she was feeling. I immediately came over and tried to help just giving her water and rubbing her back. Then finally I told myself that she needed a priesthood blessing because she still was just not feeling well. I knew James was down in his bedroom so I ran down there called him and told him what happened. Jess was with him and they both came running up the stairs because they were concerned. James went and gave her a blessing along with another friend and then Jess and I just sat with our roommate for a while with James just to talk to her and give her comfort. This is how important they are. They would be there for anyone and I love that. :) Thanks for being such great friends I love you both :)