Friday, June 24, 2011

Missing?

So I have been away from for a really long time now. Or at least it feels that way. Officially I have been moved out and away from home for 10 months. And as much as I love being away from home and being all "grown up" making my own decisions and choices, but I do miss home sometimes. I miss at night the sounds of sirens and other noises. Yes I know that may be weird but I miss it I really do. I miss having all or at least most of the stores be open 24/7. I miss my dogs and how much they make me laugh. I miss my parents and how I would just talk to my mom all the time because she is my best friend, and I can tell her anything. I miss my dad and how he would yell my name across the house just so I can come see him because he wants me to give him a hug. I miss my sister and walking into her room seeing how her nose is in a book. Jumping on her and tackling her, making her laugh and smile. I miss my little or not so little brother and how he would always say something about break dancing naked. Or how we would listen to some hip hop music on our way to early morning seminary. We would have our own little dance routines. I miss my older brother and how I always knew that he was either working/ playing some game/ facebooking/ or going out with sushi with his friends. 
I miss the road I would go on almost every single day to go see my best friends. Sitting at the light on Sahara and Torry Pines for what felt like forever. I miss driving all the way to Summerlin to go be a nanny to the cutest kids ever. I miss playing guns with Max and playing make believe with Ella and Kate. I miss how much Jackson would make me laugh at the things he would say and how he was such a talker. I miss putting them to bed at night where we would sometimes read stories and how they all had to look at the pictures. I miss their prayers at night. I miss tucking max into bed and how I would just rock him in my arms and sing I Am A Child of God to him and he would just cuddle me. I miss how I would put him in his bed and he had to have exactly 3 blankets on him and how he had to have 3 stories read to him.
I love being on my own don't get me wrong. But sometimes I just look back at my life back home and I realize how much I miss the little things, even the things that sometimes I would dread doing. 
I love my life now and I always will love my life but I never realized how much I would have to do on my own and how much things are my responsibility. How much things may hurt. And how much happiness there would be especially when I'm around those I love. 
Just sometimes I miss home and how my life used to be when I didn't have so many worries.