Friday: Gosh Friday was a hard day. Such a hard day for me. We went and did our Internet study to try and finish watching some of the later sessions of Conference. We had to leave early though because we had a lesson with Alina. So we get on the bus and I check the phone and we have a message from her. Literally time just stopped and my heart dropped. She told us that she had talked to her "husband" (not her husband yet) and she can't meet with us anymore. She can't pray or do any of those things. She wants to be friends but that was it. I couldn't believe it and quickly talked to her to see if we can meet and talk about this. She responded back and just nope. We decided to stay Orthodox. I'm not going to change religion. And that was it. She said she would come to activities and still wants to be friends... but that was it.
It was just a very cold wet day for us. Sora Uhl and I talked later and we both decided that we need to learn more of how to dance in the rain. I agree. haha. Finding those things of gratitude and joy when your at the bottom. Just trying to put it into practice.
We watched as this priest who is being paid to try and bless the body, and go through this whole ritual. We watched him take out his phone so many times. I wanted to slap him. Does he just not understand that this is a person who just died? Whose family is in mourning and in pain. How can people just do that. I was so angry and upset and sad. I just watched as this family fell to the ground crying because they were in so much pain. The only one who stood quietly with gentle tears falling down his face was Gabi. He's the only member in his family. He was just serving in Switzerland and got permission to come home for a week. You could see in his face how he was so sad that his father was gone. But you could also see the hope and the peace that came from knowing that he can do his father's work. He can unite his family. He will see his dad again and this is not the end. That and I mean that was the only part of the entire funeral that showed hope and peace. It was the face of a member.
"Well Eva that's not very nice did you say sorry?"
"Well, why not?"
"Eva don't you know that Christ loves all of us and so He wants us to be kind to one another?"
"Maybe you can go tell your mom your sorry and then she'll forgive you like Christ forgives us."
I watch her walk down the stairs and go up to her mom and say," Mommy? I'm sorry I was mean and stole the others toys."
This week we have about 20 hours of contacting planned... since well we don't have any lessons. We are praying that we will be able to find some people to teach this week. We are going to try and teach Gabi's mom and sisters and talk to them about the Plan of Salvation. Hopefully we can just touch their hearts and let them know that there really are things to look forward to. Praying for this.
I love you all. I know this church is true. I really do. I would not be here if I didn't. I love this gospel. I love my Father in Heaven. I love being a missionary. It is the hardest. Literally the hardest thing I have ever done but it's beautiful and I love it. I love seeing how the spirit touches others. I love seeing just how perfect the Gospel is and how it really does change lives. I love it. That's literally what it is. Love. It's perfect.