Wednesday, May 4, 2011
Today was my official last day of my first year of college. And it was an awesome, trying, ridiculous, hard, happy, incredible school year. I had learned so much through just going to class, but I'm sorry to say I think I learned a whole lot more about who I am, who I am going to be, what I love about myself, what I need to work on. I learned a lot about me :) And I think that this was necessary. I needed this. My senior of high school was a hard one. I just needed to escape and really be myself and this was it. I really had the time of my life and I challenged myself in ways I never would have thought of.
So as I am sitting here in my room filled with naked white walls staring at the wall across from my bed where there used to be tons of colors (mostly purple) and there used to be my roommate. For those of you who know me I don't cry, I used to cry a lot and I just don't cry very much or at all anymore. It just happened. Hahaha so today when Jess's stuff was all packed up in her car and she came back from her last exam and went to say goodbye to all of us roommates. I cried. That's right I cried, like a little baby. I have decided that I'm okay at goodbye's when I am friends with them, but when I have connected with a person and shared all of my inner thoughts and feelings with that person it hurts me to loose them. The same things happened with Jenni. I miss them both and I wont have either of them this summer. It makes me sad.
But just sitting here again in the naked room my mind fills with all these thoughts... this isn't ever going to be the same. I'm not going to have the same roommates, it isn't ever going to be my freshman year of college. I wont ever be back in to my teens after this year. I'll be 20... yuck. I'll be one of the older ambassadors. I'll be the one with a job and I will know how to do my schedule properly and manage my time. I'll know how things work here at the school... it won't ever be the same and this makes me sad. :(
So much for a fantastic year filled with fantastic memories and fantastic people. I will miss it all. Thank you those who made my year one of the best :)
These pictures are just some of the highlights of my year :)