ehhhhhh

So I feel like I have been slacking a ton on blogging. So apologies there. But right now I just have things on my mind that I think I should just put everything down and try and compose it all. So I think that I am just going to just number them down.
1. I feel that conference today has been amazing. Lately I have had a lot of feelings about pursuing what I want with dancing for the rest of my life and traveling. So I have been thinking of just putting off finding anyone that I want to spend the rest of forever with and putting off having kids. With all the thought of today and how we should get married and have kids have really put things in perspective for me. I have realized what is most important, but just because I have realized that I should get married and things doesn't mean that I am just going to jump into the pool of marriage. Not ready for that. Overall though, with conference it made me happy :) I can never get over this of how much I love General Conference. Every single time :)
2. Boys. Now this is one of main things that is in the back of the mind of almost every single girl, especially any single LDS girl here. I never realized before I got into college how different dating would be. Because now... whoever I date it actually matters. No high school fling. It all matters because now, whoever you date you could actually marry. So no pressure or anything to make a wrong decision and fall in love with someone you know you could never end up with. Or if you did end up falling in love with someone could you ever have the courage to break it off? These things swarm my head all the time and maybe it wouldn't be such an issue if I lived in Provo or somewhere else in Utah honestly. I live in the least populated town of LDS people in Utah. Crazy right? Sometimes I think it would be so much easier to live there or another BYU. And not only this but you have to consider whether or not you want to actually date an RM or if you want to date a Premi (Premissionary) because either way you have to prepare yourself. Either to possibly be engaged and fall in love or to possibly fall in love with a person who is going to be gone for 2 years and then you have to depend whether or not you are actually going to wait. And with the whole waiting process who says that they will wait too? The whole process is difficult and extremely frustrating.
3. Dance Ensemble and Ambassadors. I am stressed honestly stressed. Do you want to know why? I have never had a busier couple of weeks. This week I have Ambassador training, Dance Ensemble rehearsals from 5:30-12:00 every single night, and then I have the show. Not to mention that the pieces I am in... yeah well they aren't finished yet. Scares me. ya know?